Two lawyers

Two lawyers had been life long friends: they were partners and shared everything, including their hot-blooded secretary.

One day the secretary announced she was pregnant.

They told her not to worry and assured her that they would pay all medical costs and would act as co-fathers when the child was born and provide all expenses thereafter.

The day of delivery arrived.

Both the lawyers were at the hospital pacing the floor in the waiting room.

Finally one of them said, "I can't take this, I'm going down to sit in my car and wait there. Please come down and tell me as soon as the child is born!"

The partner agreed to do that. About an hour later the partner approached the car with a very grave look on his face.

"What happened?" asked the waiting car occupant.

The other partner announced, "They were twins and mine died!"

Egyptair trip not true just funny

azis is your captain Haridi welcoming both seated and
standing passengers on board of Egypt Air.

We apologize for z four days delay in taking off, it
was due to bad
weazer and some overtime I had to put in at z bakery
baking Kaak.




zis is flight 717 to Alexandria Airport. Landing zer
is not guaranteed,
but we will end up somewhere in Egypt. And, if luck is
in our favor, we
may even be landing on your village !

Egypt Air has an excellent safety-record. In fact, our
safety standards
are so high, zat even terrorists are afraid to fly wiz
us!

It is wiz pleasure; I announce zat, starting zis year,
over 30% of our
passengers have reached zeir destination.

If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger
request, we can
arrange to turn zem off in order to make sure you are
feeling
comfortable!

We regret to inform you, zat today's in-flight movie
will not be shown
as we forgot to record it from z television. However,
for our movie
buffs, we will be flying right next to Somalia
Airlines, where zeir
movie will be visible from z right side of z cabin
window.

zere is no smoking allowed in zis airplane. Any smoke
you see in z cabin
is only z early warning system on z engines telling us
to slow down!
In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly
as close as
possible for z best view. If however, we go a little
too close, do let
us know.

Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right srough
z landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright
position for take-off and
fasten your seat-belt. For zose of you who can't find
a seat-belt,
kindly fasten your own belt to z arm of your seat .
And, for zose of you
who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch
wiz a stewardess
who will explain how to fasten yourself to your
suitcase.

sanking you all for choosing Egypt Air to fly for z
first and last time,
I Wish you a nice trip,

Regards from ..

Captain Haridi

Which Baby are you ?

Which Baby Are You?

-------------JANUARY BABY--------------------

Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to
recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet
someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance
your personality.

----------FEBRUARY BABY --------------------

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.

Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

-----------------MARCH BABY --------------------

Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and

reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

------------------APRIL BABY -------------------

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.

Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themself and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

-----------------MAY BABY -----------------

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and

highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

------------JUNE BABY -------------

You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make

new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. You
have a great choice in films, and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
oneof your closest friends, if you repost this in 5
minutes.

----------------JULY BABY --------------

Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.

Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at
times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in
the next 12 days


------------AUGUST BABY ---------------

outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

------------SEPTEMBER BABY ---------------

Active and dynamic. Mysterious. Bottle up the feelings.

You won't ever know what's going on in their heads, except for the chosen few. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.

A ttractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Always busy in finding ways to relieve world's problems,

but during this they tend to neglect themself. Near and dear people

should see to it that they don't forget themself completely

while caring for others all the time. Brave and fearless.

Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous.

Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins, someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

---------------OCTOBER BABY -------------------

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will
not meet the love of your life for 10 years.

---------------NOVEMBER BABY --------------------

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excell in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

---------------DECEMBER BABY ---------------

This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible... better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive. [A hott new guy/girl will catch your eye
& you will catch theirs too in the next 6 days, if
you repost in 5min]

So Which Baby Are You ???

If u love someone

Article 1:

Statement of Love:
The Kiss

1.
Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2.
Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3.
Kiss on the neck
I want you

4.
Kiss on the lips
I love you

5.
Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6.
Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7.
Look in your eyes
kiss me

8.
Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9.
Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

Article 2:
The Three Steps

1.
Girls:
If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.

2.
Guys
If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.

3.
Guys & Girls
Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.



Article 3:
The Commandments

1.
Thou shall not squeeze
too hard.

2.
Thou shall not ask for a kiss,
but take one.

3.
Thou shall kiss
at every opportunity.


* Remember *
A peach is a peach
A plum is a plum,
A kiss isn't a kiss
Without some tongue.
So open up your mouth
close your eyes,
and give your tongue
some exercise!!!



Here are a few reasons
why guys like girls:

1.
They will always smell good
even if its just shampoo

2.
The way their heads always
find the right spot on our shoulder

3.
How cute they look when they sleep

4.
The ease in which they fit into our arms

5.
The way they kiss you and
all of a sudden everything
is right in the world

6.
How cute they are when they eat

7.
The way they take hours
to get dressed
but in the end
it makes it all worth while

8.
Because they are always
warm even when its minus 30 outside

9.
The way they look good
no matter what they wear

10.
The way they fish for compliments
even though you both know that you
think she's the most
beautiful thing on this earth

11.
How cute they are when they argue

12.
The way her hand always finds yours

13.
The way they smile

14.
The way you feel
when you see their name
on the call ID
after you just had a big fight

15.
The way she says
"lets not fight anymore"
even though you know that
an hour later....

16.
The way they kiss when
you do something nice for them

17.
The way they kiss you
when you say
"I love you"

18.
Actually ...
just the way they kiss you...

19.
The way they fall into your arms
when they cry

20.
Then the way they apologize
for crying over something that silly

21.
The way they hit you
and expect it to hurt

22.
Then the way they apologize
when it does hurt.
(even though we don't admit it)!

23.
The way they say
"I miss you"

24.
The way you miss them

25.
The way their tears
make you want to
change the world
so that it
doesn't hurt her anymore.....
Yet regardless
if you love them,
hate them,
wish they would die
or
know that you would die
without them ...
it matters not.
Because once in your life,
whatever they were to the world
they become everything to you.
When you look them in the eyes,
traveling to
the depths of their souls
and
you say a million things
without trace of a sound,
you know that your own life
is inevitable consumed
within the rhythmic beatings
of her very heart.
We love them for a million reasons,
No paper would do it justice.
It is a thing not of the mind
but of the heart.
A feeling.
Only felt

صور جينيفر انيستون الممثلة الأمريكية الجميلة